


You Make Me Wanna

by Udu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Denial of Feelings, Feelings Realization, M/M, Not Beta Read, Not Cheating, Oneshot, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2018-11-12 15:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11164836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Udu/pseuds/Udu
Summary: What should I do?Should I, tell my baby bye-bye?Should I, do exactly what I feel inside?'Cause I, I don't wanna go, don't need to stayBut I really need to get it together.The moment you fall for someone when you're already in a relationship.





	You Make Me Wanna

"Hyung, what’s wrong?" Sicheng's voice is filled with sincerity and Taeyong melts into his seat, feeling guilty for making the younger worry.

"Nothing," He answers with a strenuous smile, "Just thinking."

They are seated in a two seat couch, some overrated Disney movie is playing on the TV and a bowl of soggy popcorn sits on Taeyong's lap. Yuta, the one who planned the movie night had suddenly left after getting a phone call. It’s just the two of them now.

Taeyong looks at the beautiful boy next to him and internally feels broken. He has been obsessing over the breathtaking Chinese boy ever since they had the chance to get close through Yuta.

It's stupid of him, really. He doesn't even know when it started, when he started to fall for him. When he started to dream about running his fingers through his light pink hair, kiss his plump, devastatingly tempting lips, wrap his arms around the boy's slender frame and hear him groan out his name with that honey like voice of his.

It's pure torture to have developed feelings for someone while he's already dating. Taeyong knows it's so wrong, so foolish of him. But then again, the heart wants what it wants.

Jaehyun and him, they have been an item since high school. High school sweethearts, they say. When it came to college, both of them ended up being separated. It was heartbreaking to see his lover move to another city, but that was what Jaehyun wanted and Taeyong couldn’t be selfish.

Their love, he thought, was strong enough to endure a long distance relationship. It worked too, for a year. Late night phone calls, Skype calls, surprise visits and all that shit was amazing but as the second year began and as more pressure from college started, their relationship started to wither.

It was around the same time that Yuta introduced him to his seemingly shy new roommate with the prettiest features Taeyong had ever seen. A boy possessing doll like beauty and the most endearing personality, Taeyong immediately liked him. But then, he only admired him for afar, thoughts never reaching that dangerous territory; it was too full with Jaehyun to allow anyone else.

Until the fights began.

Taeyong remembers that day clearly. He was supposed to call Jaehyun but forgot because he was working his ass off on an assignment. When he called Jaehyun the next day he didn't expect the boy to be fuming and hurl poisonous words at him. He had returned the blow, irritated by Jaehyun’s lack of understanding but immediately regretted the whole call. He had never imagined he would upset sweet Jaehyun and make him so livid. In his emotional state he had gone to Yuta's apartment where –unexpectedly, the person who comforted him was the shy Chinese boy he had never bothered to talk to before.

Sicheng's presence became glaringly important in his life after that. He was available for Taeyong to vent out any of his frustrations, he didn't scream back, _"You are not the only one with problems! You think I'm having it easy?"_  like Jaehyun, choosing to listen, eyes sparkling with concentration.

Whenever he was caught in an argument with Jaehyun, Sicheng was the one who came up with solutions.

 

_"Call this place and have them deliver edible flowers to him."_

_"Remember to put your alarm on for 5 o clock, send him a message wishing him luck. Don't look at me like that! His exam week starts tomorrow, hyung! You are the one who told me!"_

_"Apologize hyung, it's your fault this time. Tell him sorry, promise to be better. Oh god, fine, hand me the phone, I’ll write the message for you."_

_"Always send him pictures, okay? Road, food or a place, it doesn't matter! He needs to know he's always on your mind."_

_"Yeah, yeah. The black shirt looks fine for your Skype date hyung, good luck!"_

 

It wasn’t like he was taking advantage of the younger. Taeyong always made sure he took care of Sicheng too. Learning some basic Chinese, hoping to make him feel better. Attending all of his dance shows and basketball matches. Making sure he never feels left out in a foreign country. Taeyong even begged Doyoung to cook Chinese for the boy, he used ‘aegyo’ for fucks sake. Even when he's short on money, he found himself buying shit for Sicheng just to see his pretty smile.

Taeyong didn't even realize he was falling for the younger, how much happiness he was getting from him until he met Jaehyun.

Taeyong was looking forward to seeing his boyfriend in the flesh after months that summer break. They were meeting up in Busan with old friends. Sicheng and Yuta had gone back to their homes.

Taeyong expected his heart to burst, to feel emotional and cry when he saw his lover but their meeting was painfully anticlimactic. Jaehyun was tear eyed and they shared an enthusiastic kiss upon seeing each other but Taeyong felt something was missing right off the bat.

He desperately wanted to dismiss his suspicions but the week long holiday with his lover only solidified his fears. He didn’t love Jaehyun anymore, at least not romantically. The younger meant a lot to him but this wasn't love. He confused love for something else. Love was when your heart gets full at just seeing that one smile. When their happiness becomes your focal point and all you can think about it is that person. For Taeyong, that person suddenly became someone who he never thought would occupy that position in his life.

He didn’t have the heart to wipe away Jaehyun's dimpled beam so he tried to persuade himself to love the boy. Though he'd spend the holiday missing Sicheng terribly and found it difficult to enjoy the vacation.

When he said goodbye to Jaehyun and went back to Seoul, he didn't feel upset at leaving his boyfriend, he felt excited to see the object of his affections again and he was disgusted with himself for being so unfair.

Taeyong ignored Sicheng for three weeks after returning from his trip, he wasn’t ready to face the truth.

Yuta would give him funny looks at class but would never prod because he liked to mind his own business. Kun would keep his jolly facade and attempt to pull out answers but Taeyong dodged them all. Doyoung would glare warningly at him and no longer offered to him homemade food, typical.

Now, Taeyong is stuck sitting next to the boy he has been giving the cold treatment for his own selfish reasons.

Sicheng is so nervous, he can tell from the way the boy is thrumming his fingers on his jean clad thighs.

"Hyung, did I do something wrong?" His voice is shaky and no Taeyong isn't ready for this. 

Taeyong offers him a small smile again, attempting to be assuring but he's pretty sure it looks fake as hell.

The Chinese boy looks at him with hurt in his eyes and suddenly gets up, picking up his bag.

"Hey wait, the movie isn't over yet!" Taeyong says, capturing Sicheng's wrist before he could storm off. He tightens his grip and pulls the boy close.

"I don't care about the fucking movie," Sicheng murmurs venomously, catching the elder off-guard. “I bet you don’t too, so what are we doing here? Yuta hyung is gone so there is no point anymore in pretending you like watching this with me.” His pretty eyes are glassy and Taeyong is now properly taken aback.

“Can you sit, please? I don’t understand why you would think I don’t want to watch this with you?”

Sicheng shakes off Taeyong’s grip on his wrist and plops back down on the couch, worrying his lower lip, “Hyung, it’s not just about the movie. It’s—you’ve been treating me differently ever since I returned. I keep asking you if I did something wrong but you would never answer me and— you…you’re so mean hyung, you do-n’t c-care that you keep hurting me so much?”

“Don’t cry, Sicheng please...” Taeyong begs, coaxingly pulling the boy towards him, enveloping his skinny frame and allowing him to bury his face unto the crook of Taeyong’s neck. It’s an awkward position and even a little bit uncomfortable but Taeyong can only think about the soft muffled whimpers from the object of his affections, feeling the heavy weight of guilt.

Taeyong racks his brain to break the silence, constructing the right things to say to pull out Sicheng from his devastated state. He’s just about to when Sicheng suddenly lifts his head, blinking his reddened eyes at Taeyong, hand resting on the elder’s chest.

“Your heart is beating so fast.” Sicheng hiccups.

“I guess I’m just nervous and scared,” Taeyong chuckles self-consciously, unwrapping an arm from the boy’s waist for his hand to cup Sicheng’s right cheek, thumb flicking off an askew teardrop. ”To see you cry because of me…I—I never meant to hurt and I n-never would. “

Sicheng allows his hand to join Taeyong’s and leans in to his hold, “Yet, here we are.” Sicheng braves a smile and sees the way Taeyong visibly winces. Sicheng sighs and averts his eyes, leaning into press his left cheek against Taeyong’s shoulder.

“I’m in love with you.”

Sicheng pulls away from Taeyong’s embrace so fast, he almost tumbles off the couch. Eyes widened and lips fallen into an O shape, “What did you just say?”

Taeyong is unmoving, it’s as if he’s shocked at himself for saying such a thing so confidently yet carelessly.

“Hyung…” Sicheng whispers, looking so fucking vulnerable. “You can’t say that to me.”

“I’m only telling you the truth.” Taeyong says quietly.

“The truth? –s-stop doing this, please.”

Taeyong pulls Sicheng towards him again, this time a bit forcibly “Don’t tell me to stop. I’ve been fucking losing my mind because of you and you come to me asking me what’s wrong and fucking cry… don’t fucking tell me to stop.”

Sicheng throws off Taeyong’s grip on his frame and straddles him, hands grabbing the elder’s shoulders and eyes focused, “Did you mean it, then?”

“Yes.”

“Then say it again.” Sicheng dares him, looking almost scared as if Taeyong would refuse.

Taeyong puts his hands on the younger’s hips and brings himself forward, resting his face against his stomach.

“I love you so very fucking much, Dong Sicheng.”

He feels the way Sicheng’s body reacts to his words and laughs, tears falling down. “Y-you feel the same way?”

Sicheng pushes Taeyong back so their eyes can meet, “I thought you were avoiding me because you found out I started liking you. 

“Since when?”

“I realized when I was in Shanghai, I missed you a lot and felt crappy because I kept seeing you and your gorgeous boyfriend having fun on the beach in my head.” Sicheng admits, “I ended up confessing what I felt about you to Yuta hyung and Doyoung hyung…I thought they told you and now you hated me.”

Taeyong sighed, “In that case I should hate myself! I loved you even before the holidays.” 

Sicheng laughs, hiccuping and eyes still red from tears. 

“What do we do now?”

“All you have to do is give me some time,” Taeyong says, hands rubbing the younger’s back, “I have to sort things out, make sure there is no room for anyone to point fingers at you. I can’t hurt anyone.”

Sicheng nods his head, “Then I’ll wait for you, hyung.”

For the first time in forever, Taeyong feels himself smiling genuinely.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Usher's You Make Me Wanna', written on my phone while having some soggy popcorn :D
> 
> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are appreciated :) 


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